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October 24, 2007

Ask Jocelyn's Mom

Question #1 from "Tonights Story is Sex Ed" was written in from a long time reader on the West Coast:
How would you break it to a young child that her Granny is actually a Tranny?

Jocelyn's Mom Says:
Let's remember that Granny's are for warm oatmeal cookies, trips to the movies and a shoulder to cry on when misunderstood by one's parents. However, even in the best of families there is a "black sheep" and, in this case, it seems to be Granny. Let Mom & Granny decide when they would be comfortable with the youngster stopping in the middle of Bloomingdales to shout out, "Mom, what did you mean when you said Granny is a Tranny.?"

Question #2 is from "Creepy Uncle Steve":
"Do you think I can contract an STD from shaking hands with Really Gay Dave?"

Jocelyn's Mom Says:
In polite company, the subject of STD's never arises. Like religion and politics, talking about sex can cause awkward conversational moments. However, the question was really about shaking hands. Go ahead, if Princess Di can shake hands with the AIDS patients, I'm sure your perfectly safe with Really Gay Dave, who might prefer just being called RG Dave when being introduced. A socially aware person never hesitates to accept a handshake. On a side note, RG Dave is an intelligent, educated and amusing young man who might prefer not to shake YOUR hand if you're so uninformed as to be worried.


If you want your questions answered by my Mom, please click on the contact link to your left and send me your questions!

Ciao,

Jocelyn

October 24, 2007 11:51 AM

Comments

Yay Mama Jade! Princess Di is always an excellent example to follow when one is trying to decide how to act in public. Following her lead re: private behavior may be a different matter, though--neither using 5 different cell phones incessantly nor binging/purging are great habits.

HEY CREEPY UNCLE STEVE! Are we all watching the Red Sox tonight or WHAT. I need a major dose of Big Boy Beckett....apropos people who might give you an STD by shaking your hand! For real. But whatever. It is still completely mind-blowing to watch him hurl his unhittable heat.

Posted by: Molly at October 24, 2007 01:45 PM

Why is it that I live in NYC and I know more Sox than Yankees fans. And you call yourselves real New Yorkers...

Anyway, I almost spewed my coffee all over my monitor reading question number two, but I'll hold comment on it until Mr. "Female Condoms Suck!" weighs in. As always, Joc, your mother is all class, and I love it.

Posted by: deb at October 24, 2007 02:42 PM

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that my virtue is being maligned by a man who is named CREEPY UNCLE STEVE. My shenanigans may be numerous, but seriuosly, may he without sin cast the first stone.

Posted by: David B. Fruit, Esq. at October 24, 2007 04:32 PM

Debbie, as my brother Roland says, "the Yankees are unrootable-for." What about the Mets, huh?!

Posted by: Molly at October 24, 2007 07:10 PM

I like to read the voice of reason and decent behavior speaking to a group that is so sure they are modern and right. G

Posted by: Grandma at October 24, 2007 09:19 PM

When Grandma talks about this group that's so modern and right, I hope she's including herself in it... Grandma has certainly given some "modern" advice to her young, innocent granddaughters!

Posted by: Lauren at October 25, 2007 01:53 AM

While it is clear that I don't know anything about etiquette, I do know a lot about STDs. And while it is true that you cannot get infected with HIV from shaking hands, there are other little critters that can be transmitted in a much less intimate fashion. These little fellows could jump right off of someone's hand into yours, depending on where those hands had previously been...

Posted by: Jill at October 25, 2007 09:05 PM